Wow, talk about loaded questions. I think I also detect a fair bit of leading the witness, your honor. As far as I understand these issues, the two are very different. Fetishization of any group of people has some very dangerous and problematic effects: dehumanization, objectivization, denial of agency, and exploitation to name a few. Mainstream porn by its very nature tends to encourage the fetishization and objectivization of specific archetypes of people. Mainstream tr***y porn, just by its names contributes to this.
Allow me to make a distinction between tr***y porn and trans* porn: one treats its performers like exotic sex objects, the other shows its performers as real people engaging in empowering, enthusiastically consensual sex. One is generally abusive and dehumanizing; the other treats its performers as human beings with human feelings. There’s also a difference between liking tr***y/trans* porn and fetishizing trans* people. As always, when it comes to liking complicated and potentially problematic things, it’s extremely important to examine why we like these things and address tendencies that may lead to fetishization, dehumanization, etc.
As a quick side note, I won’t comment on the trans* performers who do work in the tr***y porn industry. I don’t have the experience they’ve had; I don’t have their perspectives. Anything I say would be pure speculation coming from somebody with no idea what it’s like to do sex work, and I don’t want to speak for or over them.
Back to the main questions: fetishization of any thing or person has to be dealt with delicately, if we’re to avoid some very oppressive and problematic behavior. Fetishization of trans* people, however, is not the same as transvestic fetishism. In parallel, the group of people who engage in transvestic fetishism are not the same as the people who fetishize trans* people. Sexual arousal due to dressing in clothes for a different gender is highly personal and is, by itself, no more problematic than any other kink people may have.
In summary: fetishization of trans* people is oppressive and unacceptable. But that’s not the same thing as appreciating trans* people’s beauty and sexual expression. It’s also not the same thing as getting off by dressing in another gender’s clothing, which is perfectly acceptable and nothing to be ashamed of or judged by. Personal kinks, when practiced within consensual bounds, are perfectly acceptable. HOWEVER, the fine line between the acceptable and the unacceptable requires vigilant attention, critical analysis, and awareness of others’ rights in relation to your own. Fetishization of any group of people is unacceptable, but it cannot be compared to consensual crossdressing for sexual gratification, which by itself is nobody else’s concern.